women who get sh*t done
If I could use one word to describe this year, it would be surreal. 2020 could be a backdrop for one of Margaret Atwood’s dystopian novels. Even though I like to think my superpower is being naively optimistic, it didn’t shield me from all the fears, heartbreaks and frustrations. Aside from my amazing family, what kept me sane and grounded were the women in my life who provided me with inspiration, perspective and gratitude.
So, what better way to finish my final “top 8” for 2020 by celebrating women? I’m humbled by so many women who not only bear the brunt of this brutal year, but also manage to thrive and inspire those around them. As much as I love all the superlative lists bestowed on women (the most powerful, the most influential, etc.), I also crave connecting with the “everyday” women near and far who do extraordinary things without any fanfare. So, here are some who help me to remember that we’ll all be ok and make an enormous difference in the lives of others, even if they don’t get to be on any magazine’s “best of” list.
WORKING MOTHERS. No amount of tributes can fully capture the toll this year has taken on working women who manage their career AND their family. So many women thought life was impossibly busy and chaotic even before the pandemic. And somehow, they found ways to up their game with time management and multitasking more than they ever thought possible. The additional challenges and burden are not compensated with money, promotion, or even acknowledgement sometimes. But many of these women are steadfast in their responsibilities not only in their jobs, considered “essential” or not by the government, as well as running a de facto school, day care or nursing home for their loved ones. Here’s to all of you out there who put your own plan of showing up for yourself so that life of others could move along.
HEALTH CARE WORKERS. Courage takes many shapes and forms. For me, it usually plays out in front of my daughter when I pretend to be nonchalant when faced with a tiny bug of any kind that petrifies me. So, I cannot wrap my head around how women, who work as doctors, nurses and in other health care field, get up every morning to go battle the pandemic and be the source of hope to so many coronavirus patients. And many of these women have family that they also care for at home. I recently read somewhere that one COVID patient requires at least 40-50 health care professionals to care for them. All I can say is, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
ADVOCATES. We can all agree that this year has really brought out the many equality gaps in our communities, whether it be race, gender, economic or disability. As a mother of a special needs child, I’m particularly attuned to how the pandemic has impacted those families with kids who really need to be in school, for specialized learning, socialization, therapy services and others. Virtual learning is not designed for many of these kids who cannot navigate teachings online. School systems and state educators have done very little to alleviate this problem. So, it’s been the parents (usually mothers) who have stepped in as counselors, therapists, teachers and friends. In their “spare” time, they relentless advocate for their children’s needs at a local and national level.
I’m inspired by these women who navigate this year’s uncharted path with so little support from our communities and fight to amplify the voice of kids with disabilities. I’m especially grateful that there is someone like Alice Wong who runs The Disability Visibility Project whose mission is to give a voice and light to the stories of disabled individuals. What Gandhi said, the true measure of any society can be found in how it treats its most vulnerable members, cannot be more apt than in 2020.
RESILIENT GIRLS. I’m guilty of mindlessly complaining about the difficulty of running a virtual school out of our home for my daughter. But, if I have to be honest, I’m impressed with how resilient and patient the children have been during this uncertain and scary year. I would like to celebrate our girls (and boys) who learned to hang out with their parents, who learned to learn through a blurry computer screen, who learned to wear a mask and resist the desire to hug their friends and family, and who learned to appreciate and imagine the everyday joys of being with one another. And they helped us remind ourselves why the world’s most rewarding job is being a mom, even during the pandemic.
PIONEERS. Every time I missed my 4:45 am swim practice in high school, my coach used to tell me, “while you were sleeping, there was someone out there training to be the fastest swimmer in the world.” This is definitely the case this year. While I was swimming in the chaos of my little world, there were women achieving great things. I’m kind of obsessed with the story of Dr. Özlem Türeci, who, together with her husband and business partner, developed the Pfizer coronavirus vaccine. I love that she’s a Turkish immigrant in Germany, that she celebrated the vaccine’s efficacy data by brewing Turkish tea at home, and the fact that there was no fanfare, social media buzz or any other distraction leading up to this moment of hope for so many people.
The same goes for my dear friend, Julia Vitarello, who, together with a Harvard scientist, developed a customized drug just for her daughter, Mila, who has an ultra rare disease called Batten Disease. In achieving this feat, Julia not only helped pioneer personalized medicine, but also has given opportunity to create a new treatment path for children with fatal genetic disease. Women like Julia have helped me stay grounded this year. While I was complaining about all the inconveniences of 2020, Julia has been steadily working to pave the way to give a fighting chance for those in dire need, above and beyond the destructive impact of the pandemic.
ACTIVISTS. The silver lining of this year has been the hope of regaining our communal decency and kindness to one another. There are influential political and equal justice activists that I think of in light of the Black Lives Matter movement and the election. And, fortunately, social media has played a contributing role in elevating and supporting their cause. But, the activists that I want to highlight are the ones that work in the shadow of our mainstream society without the benefit of Twitter or Instagram to higlight their work and seek support. These are women who work with marginalized members of the society, whose plight has become even more desperate due to the pandemic. It’s thanks to women like Rina Akter, a former sex worker and activist, that some of these neglected women have been able to survive this year. Rina, through her NGO, Lighthouse, provide Bangladeshi sex workers with health care, legal aid, help for burial and funeral, and place for birth and rest at a drop-in centre. The impact that someone like Rina has on society at large cannot be measured by votes or dollars, nor is there a reward of fame and fortune for such activists. I’m truly inspired by these women who remind us that the long lasting fabric of our society should be based on decency and kindness.
INVISIBLE WORKERS. Ironically, so many jobs that are considered to be “essential” are low-paying and in suboptimal working conditions. Needless to say, the pandemic has rendered these essential workers even more indispensable, yet in a more precarious position than ever. Whether they clean hospitals, stock toilet papers at grocery stores, or take care of children, these women take so much risk in exchange for minimum wage. Sometimes it’s a matter of not having any choice, as the only way to put food on the table. Sometimes it’s a matter of compassion, as is the case for someone like Sapana Roka Magar, who is a crematorium technician in Nepal. She provides Hindu funeral rites for unclaimed bodies for those who die from coronavirus, unattended and uncared for. Sapna says, “(p)eople who die on the streets deserve proper last rites. I do this job not as a social service but for my own peace of mind.” In this time of forced insularity, it is a much needed perspective to consider the devastating impact of the pandemic elsewhere and the deep generosity that we all need to give.
WOMEN WHO GET SH*T DONE. In a way, this year has been the perfect excuse to feel resigned and pat ourselves on the back for just…survivng (and designate no-makeup and sweatpants as the official uniform of 2020) . And then there are women who thought, pandemic schmandemic and just charged forward with whatever plans and goals they had for themselves. Nothing was going to deter them from achieving what they set out to do this year. One of my best friends moved from New York to the countryside of Ireland with her family, enrolling her kids in a local school, building a home from scratch, all the while working remotely and winning international accolades in her field. No complaints and no fear. Another amazing friend decided to make a daunting career change after more than 20 years of running a family business. Thanks to her perseverance, she landed her dream job in conservation despite almost everyone around her saying that it’s the wrong time to look for a job, and that no one would ever hire her with such limited experience. A friend shared her courageous journey of adoping an opioid-dependent baby and detailed her heartbreaking, first-hand insight into the lives of women who are victims of the opioid epidemic. All the while kicking ass as a senior executive at Google.
And, to think that these are just an awe-inspiring sample of all the incredible women out there doing almost-impossible things, many times over, day in and day out. THANK YOU.